purim torah in jest - How to eat Wacky Mac

Purim is pretty clearly the wackiest day of the Jewish calendar, and of course the preferred main course for the festive meal is Wacky Mac. Now, as we all know Wacky Mac has four different components: wheels, shells, spirals, and tubes.

What is the correct order of precedence to give these shapes at my meal? Which do I say the blessing on? Which do I save for last? Must I have a Shiur of each? All four shapes are clearly elements of the Mitzva, but I don't know the best consumption strategy to fulfill all relevant Halakhot and Minhagim.

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Answer

Following the order of the last Mishna in Kinim (1) (3:6), we have the order and the shiur.

שתי קרניו, שתי חצוצרות; שני שוקיו, שני חלילין; עורו לתוף, ומעיו לנבלים, ובני מעיו לכינורות

1. 
   

   "Its two horns" ---> Spiral, and the shiur is two spirals.

   
   


2. 
   

   "its two thigh bones" ---> Tubes, the shiur is also two tubes.

   
   


3. 
   

   "its skin" ---> Shell, the shiur is one shell.

   
   
   


4. 
   

   "its intestines" ---> wheels (old bicycle tires), the shiur is two wheels (the minimum plural is two).

   
   

The shiurin cannot join together.

The first Blessing is not Bore nefashot Rabbot as Rabbi Tarfon was thinking, because the Mishna says,

כשהוא חי, קולו אחד

When he is alive, his voice is one, (not "Rabbot" multiple.)

The after blessing is the same as the Seven Species (Meen Shalosh) because the mishna says:

וכשהוא מת, קולו שבעה

When he is dead (eaten) his voice is seven.

But the main lesson of the mishna is:

The Seudat Purim is to remember Matan Tora "keemu vekiblu", as the end of the mishna says:

‏ אבל זקני תורה אינן כן--אלא כל זמן שהן מזקינין--דעתן מתיישבת עליהן, שנאמר "בישישים חכמה; ואורך ימים, תבונה" (איוב יב,יב). ‏

Zikne Tora!

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(1)

Rabbi Yehoshua says:, This is [similar] to what is said, when it[a ram] is alive it has one voice, but once it's dead it has seven. How does it have seven? Its two horns can become two trumpets, its two thighs would become two flutes, its hide can become a drum, its stomach can become parts of lyres, its innards for harp strings, and some say its wool can be used for Tekhelet [blue-dyed wool used for tzitit and priesty garments]. Rabbi Shimon son of Akashia said: Unlearned elderly men as they get older their mind gets more confused as it says (Job 12:20), "He removes the speech of the capable and takes away the reasoning of the elders." But the elders of Torah are not that way, rather as they get older their mind becomes more settled as it says (Job 12:12) "In the aged is wisdom and in lengthy days understanding."