My teacher says that we should avoid あなた, like わたし, which could be taken off. Following this, I try to refer to the second person by the name: 加藤さんの趣味は何ですか. But there are situations where we forget the name. How can we say "You" without being rude, or using あなた? I give some examples, but they could be wrong:
A: 久しぶり。元気してた？
B: 久しぶりだね～元気だよ。あなたは？ (is it better to say: そっちは？?)
A: あなたの名前は？ (is it a little rude? should I hide あなたの?)
A: あなたの作ったケーキがおいしかったよ。
B: 本当？あなたのケーキのほうがおいしかったと思うけど。
店員：あなたは何を探しますか？
A: あなたはむてき！
Answer
This is what デジタル大辞泉 says about あなた:
- 対等または目下の者に対して、丁寧に、または親しみをこめていう。
- 妻が夫に対して、軽い敬意や親しみをこめてい。
In definition (1), it's said that あなた is used for second person who is equivalent or subordinate/inferior/junior while being polite or intimate/familiar. Definition (2) states that it can also be used between spouses to intimately call each other.
So, あなた itself is not offensive if used appropriately while taking your relationship with the other person into consideration. You have to be careful if you want to use it with strangers because it would seem that you are assuming the other parties as equivalent or inferior to you, or that you are trying to be familiar with them. Since the Japanese culture encourages being reserved towards outgroups and strangers, you better be sure if you really want to use あなた, otherwise stick to using names (e.g. 田中さん), professions (e.g. 先生) and indirections (e.g. そちら) to refer to the other person.
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