Y has been in a heated discussion with another person. X has been observing that discussion / argument:
Yの目が、なんとか怒りを抑えつけようとしているのを、Xは見てとった。
"X could see the suppressed anger in Y's eyes."
How does Japanese sentence structure allow for a comma between "目が" and "なんとか"?
btw: When speaking, I don't think you'd do a pause there.
Answer
There is no grammatical reason you need comma there.
Assuming this is written by a professional writer who cares punctuation marks, I think this comma is there because the author actually wanted this sentence to be read somewhat slowly, so that this sentence looks impressive or important.
When this sentence is read aloud, a professional speaker probably does pause there, and read this sentence with emotion.
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