purim torah in jest - Why did Haman lack Af?

Shmot Rabba 41:7 (Sefaria breakup within Parshiyot) says:

חמשה מלאכי חבלה היו שם: אף, וחמה, וקצף, והשמד, והשחת.

The five angels of harming are: Af, Cheimah, Ketzef, Hashcheit, and Hashmeid.

G-d has five angels of destruction, four of which were clearly influencing Haman in the following ways:

Ketzef:

קצף ה' על אבותיכם קצף

G-d has been exceedingly angry (Katzaf) at your fathers (Zechariah 1:2, said in the generation of Daryavesh, Esther's child)

Hashmeid:

להשמיד ולהרוג ולאבד

(Haman planned) to destroy (Hashmid), to kill, and to wipe out (the Jews; Esther 3:13)

Hashcheit:

כרה שחת בה יפול

He who digs a pit (Shachat), into it he shall fall (as in, V'Nahafoch Hu; Mishlei 26:27)

Cheimah:

וימלא המן חמה

And Haman was filled with hatred (Cheimah; Esther 3:5)

Why is Af (Anger) missing?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Answer

There is a simple answer based on the last pasuk quoted-- "And Haman was filled with hate." Meaning, by the time he got to Cheimah, he was full, and could no longer accept any more angel-influences.

Due to the double meaning of ‘Af’ (Anger/Nose), many think that Haman did not have a nose, or at least had a detachable nose. This misconception was part of Hashem’s plan (Devarim 32:26):

אמרתי אפאיהם אשביתה מאנוש זכרם

I (G-d) said regarding their noses, I will erase their remembrance from man (The plural 'their' is referring to Haman and his sons; this trait of forgotten noses was seemingly hereditary).

The real situation of Haman's nose is as follows.

Haman shows up Shmot 16, and it says he was measured by, and equal to, the Omer, which was 1/10 of an Eifah (Shmot 16:36) And now for the math.

An Eifah is 3 Se'ot, and so Haman was .3 of a Se'ah (a Se'ah is a measure of volume). The Gemara tells us:

אמה על אמה ברום שלש אמות ושיערו חכמים שיעור מי מקוה ארבעים סאה

(A mikvah must be) One square Amah, with a depth of three Amot; and the Chachamim measured the minimum measure of the Mikvah water to be 40 se'ah (Pesachim 109b).

Assuming an Amah is ~20 inches, 8000*3 cubic in.= 24,000 cubic in.= 40 se'ah. Divide by 40 on both sides, and one Se'ah is equal to 600 cubic inches. Multiply by 3/10, and one Omer is equal to 180 cubic inches, or a cube with a side of approximately 5.65 inches.

Now, the same Gemara used above for the conversion of Amot to Se'ot states that an average human is 3 Amot^3; this yields a rectangle of 60*20*20 in.

Thus, Haman, was a midget, and his nose was merely minuscule, not detachable/non-existent.