Monday, January 6, 2020

tznius modesty - Men: how do you control your reactions to women in immodest dress if you can't avoid them?


A question on The Workplace from a man uncomfortable with the dress of some of his new, female coworkers got a highly-voted answer saying that you get used to it and he should just wait it out. That might be true for people who are exposed to a lot of immodesty in general, but I don't think it works as well for those who've carefully avoided immodest situations, as is common practice for observant Jews. I think we're more challenged because we don't see this all the time. As a woman I haven't had related experience; immodestly-dressed men in the office aren't all that common in my experience.


We have a long tradition of men and women taking extra measures to avoid these kinds of situations, but that breaks down outside of our own communities. Most of us will come into contact with many people who do not meet our expectations of dress, so my question is: what are some practical things that men can do for themselves when forced, e.g. through work, to be in regular contact with women whose dress they find distracting? What are your halachically-compatible coping mechanisms, in other words, if you can't just avoid the situation? I'm not asking how you might discuss it with your coworker; I'm asking if there are things you can do on your own to make this easier?





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