Saturday, October 21, 2017

halacha - How often should one have marital intercourse with his wife?


What is the frequency of marital intercourse prescribed by Halacha?



I am confused as the Talmud in Ketubot 62a says that for men of independent means it is every day.


But the Rambam in Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De'ot 5:4 says that - "He should not frequent his wife like a rooster. Rather, [he should limit his relations to once a week] from Sabbath evening to Sabbath evening, if he has the physical stamina."


So what does the Halacha follow (for a man of independent means)?



Answer



There isn't a contradiction here. The sources are talking about two things:


1) A woman's right to conjugal relations/sexual fulfillment/attention and her husband's duty to be available to her sexually. The halakhah limits his duty to within reason - and reason dictates that independently wealthy men need to be available to their wives daily if need be, as they have nothing pressing that would exempt them (Ketuboth 62a). This does not mean that he is required to be with her daily necessarily, but rather that she has the right to request it of her wealthy husband daily if she so desires.


2) The Rambam in Hilkhoth De`oth 5:4 is speaking of the husband not requesting sexual relations from his wife continually, i.e. "like a rooster."


Each source is speaking from a different perspective - that of the wife and the husband, respectively.


Hope this helps. Kol tuv.


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